* Don't squat with your spurs on.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes

from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back

in.

* If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and

then to make sure it's still there.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin'

somebody else's dog around.

* After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started

roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him...(the

moral: when you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut).

* Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

* There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging!

* Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

* It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't

be surprised if they learn their lesson.

* When you're throwing your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

* The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it

back in your pocket.

* Never miss a good chance to shut up.